Faith, Love, and Resilience with Don and Cheryl Gibson

Show Notes

In this heartfelt episode, host CortneyJo welcomes her dear friends and spiritual mentors, Don and Cheryl Gibson, to share their inspiring story of nearly 50 years of faith, love, and resilience. Don reflects on overcoming family struggles, feeling called to ministry at 14, and witnessing his father’s salvation. Cheryl shares about her Christian upbringing and their fateful meeting at a youth camp in 1976. Married eight months later, they built a life rooted in teamwork, ministry, and devotion. From navigating early challenges to overcoming a life-changing accident, the Gibsons’ journey exemplifies God’s grace, mutual respect, and unwavering commitment to Christ and one another.

Episode Highlights:
(2:44) Don’s story

(6:53) Cheryl’s background

(8:18) How Don and Cheryl met and eventually got married

(17:47) What led the Gibsons to pursue full-time ministry

(20:53) How they’ve maintained faithfulness through challenging times

(25:37) The importance of seeking insight from others

(30:20) How Cheryl and Don’s relationship changed after a motorcycle accident

(37:50) What being a MUCH woman means for Cheryl

(41:15) What it’s like for Don being married to a MUCH woman

Transcript

Cheryl: We worked together hand-in-hand, and so personalities then jump in. And Don is very happy-go-lucky, he meets people, he’s very friendly, and I was… the opposite in organization. I like things done a certain way. So, we had to learn to work together. Because we worked together, and then went home and lived together. Pretty much our whole married life, that’s the way it was.

And then when you throw kids into the mix, then you’ve got to be mom and dad at home, and husband and wife, but yet you still learn that—

Don: Teacher and Pastor.

Cheryl: Teacher and Pastor when you got back to work. So, that was kind of a struggle for us to figure it out. And then once we did that, it was just, like, home free. We just kind of knew what he wanted; he knew what I—and we worked on both of our great gifts. So, he has a gift and I have a gift, and we just kind of worked together.

CortneyJo: Welcome to the I am MUCH woman podcast, where we inspire and guide women to deepen their personal relationship with God, and to grow in their understanding of His Word.

CortneyJo: Hello MUCH woman podcast family. Welcome to episode six. I am so glad that you are here with us today in honor of what’s often called the love month [laugh] here in American culture. I’m excited to have two incredibly special guests joining us, my dear friends, mentors, and what I lovingly call them, spiritual parents: Don and Cheryl Gibson. They are here to share their journey of faithfulness in ministry and marriage for nearly 50 years. Yes, you’ve heard right almost five decades of love and devotion.

I met Don and Cheryl about a year-and-a-half ago when I began attending weekly women’s Bible studies led by Cheryl. While Cheryl guided the women, Don led the men, and on some evenings, we all came together for joint sessions. It was during those times that I witnessed the undeniable love and mutual respect, and deep faith that they have. They graciously opened up their lives and their hearts, sharing their story, and showing us what it means to live faithfully for God. Don and Cheryl are shining examples of what it means to not only believe in Christ, but to truly, truly follow him.

I often refer to them as bondservants of Christ, individuals who are fully devoted to serving Him and placing His will above their own. This is evident in every aspect of their lives. Over the past year-and-a-half, they have not only taught me about faithfulness, but they’ve also loved me, and supported me and my two children in ways that I cannot express. So, I’m so pleased, so pleased to have you both here. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Oh—

Don: Good to be here.

Cheryl: Good to be here. Thank you.

CortneyJo: —thank you, Don and Cheryl. Thank you for being who you are. You mean so much to so many people—you already know that—to so many people. I’m deeply, deeply grateful to the Lord that he has brought you into my life, and so thank you so much for joining me and all of us on the podcast today, and I cannot wait to dive into this conversation. So, we’ll just go ahead and get started, and Don if I can start with you?

Don: Sure.

CortneyJo: Okay. Can you share a little bit about your story? Where did you grow up, what were some of your family dynamics, and when did you begin following Christ?

Don: I grew up in northern Indiana—cold country—and I started in a church—I like to say that Cheryl and I attended a church, and never changed the church. All of our lives, we had the same pastor. Now, she went to a different church, but her pastor, the same way. But I was saved at the age of 13 during a revival meeting, and then felt the call to preach when I was 14. I was unbelievably young, but the pastor that I had immediately saw the calling of God in my life, and so he invited me to speak on our midweek service Thursday night, and by the time I was in high school, I was leading the youth.

And so, as a teenager, I had the youth, and the pastor was very supportive in that. And I was very young, and I would have to say one out of a hundred pastors would not do that, so it gave me a great opportunity. My family, my mother was a great Christian woman, very dedicated to the Lord, but my father was an abusive alcoholic. He was abusive to my mother, not to me, but he came home every night, literally drunk, drunk on the way home, he couldn’t control much alcohol, and so every night was sort of the same way. It started out with him trying to, you know, be affectionate to mom in a way that only drunks can do, and then it would turn into fights. And so, he was abusive.

And that was kind of our whole entire life. And at the age of 17, one week before Christmas my senior year, my dad had a terrible, terrible episode during a drunken rage and actually put a gun to my mom’s head, and threatened to pull the trigger when she refu—she was telling him to go ahead, and I said, “No. We’re done here.” And tears streaming down my face. So, he took the gun and broke it up against the wall.

And my sister walked in, and he kicked my sister out the door. And so, before I could come to myself, I hit him, knocked him off the porch, and he got up, and I thought, well, this is it. It’s kind of reached its apex. I’m a man now. So, he walked up to me, looked me in the face, and said, “Don’t you ever touch me again.” Walked in and got one change of clothes left and never came back.

CortneyJo: Wow.

Don: Now, I had relationships with my dad after that. We stayed at his house. After that, he remarried, but that was it. And so, he was gone. And so, my mom basically picked up another couple jobs, sort of like you do now, and worked extra times because I was the baby. My brother was still at home, and my sister was going through a divorce, and so she was there also.

And so, it was rough times, but God was good, and gracious in all those ways. My mother never wavered. And I would like to end that by saying she prayed for my father all of his life. At the age of 80, he was led to the Lord, to Jesus Christ, and I preached his funeral, the January after his 80th year. And so, he did give his heart to the Lord, got saved, and I praise God for that.

CortneyJo: Amen.

Don: Yeah, yeah.

CortneyJo: Amen.

Don: So, God was good. God was gracious. And then, you know, it was a typical growing up in a corn belt state. Then Cheryl and I met. But let me let her tell about her upbringing.

CortneyJo: Yeah, your turn. Yes.

Cheryl: Well, first of all, I want to say thank you to, CJ—

Don: Yes.

Cheryl: —who is the most precious, loved, and a great mama, and a great person for me to be a friend.

CortneyJo: Thank you, Cheryl.

Don: That’s right.

Cheryl: We just love her.

CortneyJo: Love you, too.

Cheryl: But one of the things, I was in a small town, in Danville, Indiana. I came from a Christian home. My dad was a pastor, and so we… it was totally different in our life growing up, Don’s was way different than mine. I had four brothers and sisters, and I was one of the oldest, so I kind of worked around—we lived on a farm—kind of worked around. We lived in a different time, then. I’m going to say that.

My grandkids that I see now, they would probably be bored stiff with the way we were raised, but it was what we knew, and it was a great time. I graduated from a Christian school and loved it. Loved all the people around. We moved to Indianapolis, to a bigger place, and graduated there, and that’s where Don and I then got to know each other.

CortneyJo: So, that’s my next question. How did the two of you all meet? And when did you decide to get married?

Don: We met in ’76. And I was—I graduated from high school in ’75. I, at that time, was a full time evangelist, so I traveled and preached. And so, I had went to her church on a Friday night. My pastor and her pastor were friends, and so he just told me—I like the way God works on both sides to bring one together—so he asked me on a Friday night, “He said, Don, we’ve got youth camp next week, and I’d like to take you down to meet the director of the youth camp,” which I didn’t know at that time, was her dad.

And so, he said, “Would you like to go with me? You just have to spend over. We’ll work there tomorrow.” And I said, “Yeah, that’s fine.” And so anyway, we drove all the way down there. And I got there, and her dad came up, and the pastor introduced me, said, “This is Danny [Allender 00:10:20].” He said, “He directs the youth camp.” And he said, “This is Don Gibson.”

And I noticed he looked at me kind of odd. And I said, “I’m here to work. Whatever you need, just do it.” And he said, “Well, I think that you and my daughter,”—and isn’t it amazing how that some people have insight—“I think that you and my daughter can take these bunk beds and move them out to our temporary housing.” And I said, “No problem.”

The only problem was that she was 98 pounds, sopping wet. I had to lift one end of the bunk bed up, put it on the truck, walk to the other side, lift that end up, slide it in, and then she would ride with me over to the temporary house. We did that pretty much all day long.

Cheryl: Yeah.

Don: And so, that was my first meeting with her. And then he asked me, he said, “Would you preach the afternoon services?” And I said, “No problem.” So, I went home and went back the next week.

CortneyJo: Wow. So, let me stop. So, you moved all these beds, and he asked you to preach that night?

Don: No, not that night.

CortneyJo: Oh, okay.

Don: No, the next week. Yeah, that was only Sat—

CortneyJo: I was like, Dad was like, listen—[laugh].

Don: No [laugh]. That was on a Saturday. And so, I went home, came back on a Monday. I had the week off, and involved myself in the youth camp and preached the afternoon services.

CortneyJo: Wow.

Don: Yeah.

CortneyJo: That’s amazing.

Don: And so, I got to spend the whole week with Cheryl then.

CortneyJo: Yeah. What’s your take, Chery?

Cheryl: Well, it was awesome. I can remember coming home from church one time with my dad—and mom, and our whole family, of course; there was seven of us—and I was just thinking I really would like to meet somebody that was just like my dad. My dad was the sweetest, happy-go-lucky. He was very intentional in our lives, and I wanted somebody just like dad. And I told him that.

We were coming home from church, and I said, “Dad, I just am praying that God will send somebody just like you.” And Dad told me. He said, “You know, [Sis 00:12:30],” he said, “There is somebody that God has directed for you.” It’s right there. And so, I was like, “Okay.” And it wasn’t until just a little later that then Don became in our life.

And the thing about that was so good is Don was just like him. He was a sanguine personality, really personable, he was fun, of course, he was good looking and strong, and all the good things that I found so attractive, but the best part was just the way that he adored me and loved me. And I was still so young. I didn’t even realize how God was working it out.

Don: How young were you?

Cheryl: Huh?

Don: How young were you?

Cheryl: Oh, yeah. I was 16 years old, then, thinking, you know, oh, I need to find a boyfriend, not realizing my whole life was there. I could have done many things, but God had a plan. And that’s what I wanted people to hear, that it wasn’t something that, you know, we searched for, but yet, God had a plan, and we worked together. Now, would I want my kids to get married at 17? No. Because it’s a different age. But then, that’s what I wanted. I wanted to have a family, and I wanted kids, and I wanted the whole thing. But God’s put us together, and made it right. So, that’s how I look at how we got married, on how we got together.

Don: So, we spent all week together—

Cheryl: Yes. Yes.

Don: —at the youth camp, and one of the pastors that I preached for later on—got to know a lot of pastors—and I went and held a revival for him. He said, “I watched you and Cheryl that a whole week, and I was like, told my wife, said, ‘Something’s going on.’” And, you know, again, God happens. Friday night, she asked me—youth camp was over, and so she said, “We’re all getting together for supper.” And I said, “No, I’ve got to go home.”

She was disappointed, she told me later. She didn’t know why I was leaving. The reason I was leaving was because I dated a girl for three-and-a-half years during high school, and—never dated anybody else, just her—and I knew that I had to go home, break things off, make a clean break if I was going to pursue Cheryl.

CortneyJo: Very respectable.

Don: Yeah. So, I went home and broke up with her, which was totally out of the blue. And so then—

Cheryl: And she's a great gal.

Don: She’s a great gal. We never had—

Cheryl: Good Christian.

Don: We never had premarital sex. She was a good Christian girl.

CortneyJo: That’s good.

Don: And I was just like, see how God protects you?

CortneyJo: Yes. That’s real good.

Don: And so, he protected me the whole way. I went home, broke up with her on a Saturday morning, I picked her up, broke up with her. Sunday morning, I got up, called Cheryl, and she was like, “Who’s this?” I said, “Don.” [laugh].

All: [laugh].

Don: She said, “Oh, okay.” And I said, “How about a date?” She said, when I said, “Tuesday,” “Tuesday? Yeah, okay, Tuesday’s fine.” And so, I had to be someplace else. And so anyway, I said, “I will be there and take you out.” Well, anyway, when I got there—we were 120 miles apart—I was there at 7:15 in the morning.

Cheryl: Yes, he was.

Don: I had driven the two hours, so you can tell I was ready to leave. So, I got there at 7:15, woke everybody up in the house, and we spent the day together, and went to church that night. Her pastor was having a special service that night. And so, then when we got home, I heard her on the phone. She was breaking up with a boy that she had been dating.

All: [laugh].

Don: And so, the same way, you know, you want to be respectful with what’s going on. And eight months later, we were married.

CortneyJo: Wow.

Don: Yeah. I was 20 and she was 17.

CortneyJo: I love this love story so much. So, in that week, did you both—like you—did you just know, or did you talk about it? Did you ever say, “You know, I think something”—

Don: Well—

CortneyJo: Other people were seeing it, but did you just kind of feel it, you knew, or did you actually kind of have a conversation about it?

Don: Well, we didn’t really have a conversation about going from there on. We both said afterwards we’d like pursued—but again, I was dating a girl. Like, I wanted to respectful of that.

CortneyJo: I hear you. I hear you.

Don: And so, we made sure I asked her father. It was funny because she was 16, and so I asked her dad. We were in my brother’s sports car in Warsaw, Indiana. And so, I told him, I said, “Dan, I said, I want to marry Cheryl.” He said, “I knew you were going to ask me that.” And so, this was what he said. He said, “She’ll have to graduate.” Because she was still a senior. I said, “No problem.”

So anyway, I told Cheryl. I said, how soon can you graduate? She said, “December.” She turned 17 in November, graduated in December, and we married in January. This coming Wednesday, it’ll be 48 years. And so, she was 17 and I was 20. But her dad—her mom, didn’t want to sign for her to get married. Her dad said, “I’ll sign.” So anyway, he was quite the advocate as far as that goes.

Cheryl: I guess when you get—when you have the relationship in the age we lived in then, divorce—and we decided when we got married that divorce was not an option. So—

Don: And you can decide that, but you still have to, practice—

Cheryl: You have to live it.

CortneyJo: Yeah, which is why I’m so happy to be chatting with you all today because we that’s what we’re going to be talking about—

Don: Yeah.

Cheryl: Yeah.

CortneyJo: —that faithfulness, like you said, you decided up front. But at the same time, I think, and you can correct me if I’m wrong, but both of you all, you were in it. You loved each other, that mutual respect was there.

Don: Yeah.

CortneyJo: But that’s what I want to talk more about is, it’s been 48 years, nearly 50 years, and keeping that going. So, let me ask you this because I know that this probably contributes. What led you to realize that full-time ministry was the path that God was calling you both to? Because I’m—yeah, we can talk about it all.

Don: Yeah. I was already in full-time ministry, and so Cheryl just kind of slipped in. We actually traveled together during the first year of our marriage. And then after the first year, at a church I had actually evangelized at, there was a pastor—we were scheduled for the next year—and the pastor left. And so, I felt a tug of my heart.

It was a little country church in Converse, Indiana, and Cheryl and I talked to her, and I said, “What do you think about taking that church?” She said, “Yeah, you know, however you think.” She always conceded to me, you know, whatever you’re praying about or whatever. And so, we did. There was 11 members in the church. And I was there three years, left it with 44, and we had a great time. A lot of learning that was going on. But we just kind of knew that we were that way.

Cheryl: Yeah, when we started dating, that was already in my mind that he was a minister. We also sang. That was one of our things. I played the piano, he played the guitar.

CortneyJo: Oh, I didn’t know that.

Cheryl: I’m from a musical family, so we did that even before Don. And so, that was just something that we did. And so, it was just kind of like the old-time revivals, and you went, and sang, and preached. And my kids were very involved once they got old enough. They got involved in the ministry just like we did, and they worked in tandem with us during our ministry.

So yeah, I guess it was just, we just knew that’s what we were going to do. And from Don working our first pastorate until we moved to Knoxville, we were always in full-time ministry, until we moved here. And then we changed things around.

Don: Our first church, we realized that Christian education was big in our lives, too, because Cheryl had been in Christian ed, and we knew that as our children were born, we wanted to make sure to have them in Christian ed. And so, we started that way. Now, we didn’t have all the schooling we needed for it, so we started back—and we were talking about you going back to school—

CortneyJo: Yes.

Don: And so, you know, it was years of being married, having kids, and finally getting your degrees, you know, as far as that goes. But that’s where we went from there.

Cheryl: Yeah. We did our college education while we were married, having babies. So, life was really wild.

CortneyJo: You just did it. Well then, so that brings me to my next question—I love this so much, by the way—so you both have been faithful in ministry and in marriage nearly 50 years. How have you maintained the faithfulness, especially when life throws those unexpected challenges, like you just shared. You were doing school, you had your children. You’re doing ministry, you’re serving the people in the church. Surely, you know, praying for folks, going to hospital visits, baking pies or whatever you can do to serve people. How have you both been able to remain faithful through all of it, challenges and all?

Cheryl: Well, it was hard at first. And I don’t want—maybe that’s not the right word. We worked together, hand-in-hand, and so personalities then jump in. And Don is very happy-go-lucky, he meets people, he’s very friendly, and I was… the opposite in organization. I like things done a certain way. So, we had to learn to work together. Because we worked together, and then went home and lived together. Pretty much our whole married life, that’s the way it was.

And then when you throw kids into the mix, then you’ve got to be mom and dad at home, and husband and wife, but yet you still learn that—

Don: Teacher and Pastor.

Cheryl: Teacher and Pastor when you got back to work. So, that was kind of a struggle for us to figure it out. And then once we did that, it was just, like, home free. We just kind of knew what he wanted; he knew what I—and we worked on both of our great gifts. So, he has a gift and I have a gift, and we just kind of worked together in that.

Don: And it wasn’t overnight, but, yeah, [unintelligible 00:23:35].

Cheryl: Oh, it wasn’t overnight, no.

CortneyJo: Did you, like, have conversations about it? Like, how did you work through when it was tough? And did you ever have times when it was like, I don’t like you or I don’t want to talk to you right now. Let me move out of this room.

Don: Mm-hm. Yeah. Well, Cheryl was very organized, so when I wasn’t getting things done, then the conversation would come up, “Now, when are you going to”—and I could feel that she was working the back door, you know, knowing that it needed to be done and whatever. And a lot of times I would, you know, get upset because of it, and where I was at, and whatever was going on. And so, that was—yeah, there was conflicts there that we had to learn.

Now, as I developed more in my organizational skills, especially pastoring, running schools and things of that nature, then it was a lot, lot, lot better when it came to that. Also whenever Cheryl began to develop more and, you know, people at church, and how we dealt with them, and things that of that, it was a lot better too.

Cheryl: Yeah, yeah. I think just talking. And we wasn’t always open in communication because that’s not the way we were raised, so it was different because the man was the head of the house, and the woman had a small voice. So, as we worked together, and managed schools, and ran larger churches, then we started—and I think it was called practical—you just learn practical experience when you work together. But it wasn’t an easy start.

But you know, God still worked—and I think that’s the key. In all of our whatever we did, it was that God was first. We felt like that had to have been, and that was one of the things we started when we got married, and we were very intentional. And one thing I’ll say is, Don’s home life was so different than mine that he said he was going to love on the kids, and always be affectionate, a touchy-feely guy—because I was already touchy-feely. That’s the way I was raised.

And I have to say that was a big part of us with our kids because I heard someone tell me at one of our churches we lived at, they said, “Yeah, but you’re just like a pod.” They said, “Your whole family just works together, and then they move.” And when we moved from different churches, we kind of moved that way, and our kids kind of learned how that works.

Don: And one thing we were blessed in is we chose men and women that would help us in areas that we were developing in. We had a trouble with our children, something was going on, we would call Dr. Dobson, Focus on the Family—

CortneyJo: Oh yes.

Don: —and we would automatically seek insight, you know, what was going—

CortneyJo: That’s so good. So, Don, you would seek insight?

Don: Always.

Cheryl: Yes.

CortneyJo: Had no problem with that?

Don: No problem with that.

CortneyJo: So, you know, that can be difficult—

Don: Yes.

CortneyJo: —especially, you know, and I don’t want to be stereotypical, but, like, for some men, I think that could be difficult to seek advice. There’s times I’ve had conversations with some guy friends, and I’ll even ask them, like, “Who’s your accountability partners?” And they’ll be like, “We don’t—what you talking about? What do you mean?” I’m like, “Well, who do you go to if you need advice, or”—“I don’t.” Like, “Well, you got friends?” “Yeah, I have friends.” “Do y’all talk about serious things?” “No, we don’t talk.” So, what made that different for you?

Don: Well, I think that I was constantly—because of my father. My father told me one time my entire life that he loved me, and he was drunk. So, that’s why I always wanted to invest into my children. But I remember always looking for the older man that would speak into my life. And I sought him out, and I found him.

CortneyJo: You sought him out.

Don: I remember one old pastor. I was talking to him one time, and I said, you know, Cheryl and I are together 24 hours a day, working together, ministry together, all of those things. He said, “Don let me tell you something I did.” He said, “Every day, after being at the Christian school all day, I would go to the intersection before my house, I would stop the car, put it in park, get out, open my back door, and tell my troubles to get out.” He said, “I would close the door,” and he said, “I would stop the next morning at the same intersection, physically get out, open the door, and tell the troubles I need to worry about today to get back in.”

CortneyJo: Okay.

Don: We did that.

Cheryl: Yeah.

CortneyJo: Wow.

Don: I remember physically doing it for a while, and then it just became second nature. And because you were constantly changing hats, you know, from a pastor’s hat to a principal’s hat to a teacher’s hat to a coach’s hat, to a father’s hat, to a husband’s hat, you were constantly change—

CortneyJo: A lot of responsibility.

Don: —a lot of responsibility. And so, you had to make sure that you would get out of that mode and get into another mode.

CortneyJo: So, the word that you used, Cheryl, was intentionality. That was the intentionality. Like, I know I need to be able to separate. I need to be able to transition from one part of my day to the next part of my day. And I think that’s so very good and so wise advice because I think a lot of—like, I’ll just even say for myself—just, I don’t think I have a transition, you know, from work—you’re just going from thing to thing to thing.

And maybe, for instance, I have to take my son to basketball practice tonight. Well, I’m going to be having my laptop out doing work, you know? There’s no transition. So, I love how intentional you were to transition, and to be very mindful of, I have all these responsibilities, and I want to be responsible in my response [laugh] to them.

Don: And let me just say one thing. As the years developed, we had four children, and so as the years developed, I had to rely on Cheryl a lot because I was coaching, I was pastoring, I was teaching a lot of separate things. And so—she was, too, you know, she would teach—but she had to take more responsibility as the budget at home, and things that nature, which honestly should be a man’s position. But I would tell her, you know, I just don’t have the—and I wasn’t good at it. So anyway, she was, and so I just gave that over to her, you know, when it came to that, always with the point of supporting one another.

And I can say, in 48 years, neither one of us have slept outside of our bed when we’re together because of anger. Never, never went to the sofa, never went to another room. You know, you just worked it out before the lights went off.

CortneyJo: Wow.

Don: Or if the lights went off, then you reached over, tapped, “I’m sorry, I got to say this.” You know?

CortneyJo: I love that. That means there’s a lot of humility. You had to practice humility in order to actually, not only just be hearers of the Word of God, but doers. When the Lord tells us to not let the sun go down on our anger, that requires humility, and you have to apologize. I love that.

I want to ask you this because, Cheryl, you made this comment about when you all were in younger days of your marriage, you know, women didn’t say much, you know? It was just how it was. The men were head of the household, like you just mentioned. Men took care of the budget. This is what men do, this is what women do.

And so, while we were preparing for this episode—I loved it—and first of all, I have to say, preparing for this episode was amazing because normally I may have a conversation; they invited me over for dinner, so I got to eat some incredible food, and sit with them in the comfort and warmth of their home, and we just we talked about all this. But you shared this incredible testimony about God saving you both from a horrific motorcycle accident, and so I’d love for you all to share that experience with us. But Cheryl, you mentioned that during your recovery, you couldn’t really speak for four months, and you had to relearn how to talk.

After regaining your ability to speak, you begin to express your thoughts and opinions a little more freely. And Don you shared with me that that brought some adjustments to the relationship. Because you went years where you were, kind of like, what you said went, if you will, and Cheryl, you submitted to that. You yielded to that. And good thing, you had an incredible person to yield and submit to. But can you both reflect on that time, what was that like, how you navigated those changes, and what did you learn from it?

Cheryl: I just couldn’t put two sentences together, so I had a hard time with that. And I had memory loss. So, for four or five months, I couldn’t remember before or after. So, it was real hard. And sometimes I would just talk incessantly, and Don would say, “It’s time for you to quit talking.” Because I just kept talking.

But I guess in finding my words again, I just decided I was going to—and now, remember, we only had one child at home then, right?

Don: Yes, [Lauren 00:33:40].

Cheryl: And Lauren was our only one home, and she even seen the difference. She was a high school, college student, maybe by then, and she was like, wow, mom’s speaking out? She doesn’t normally do that. And so, I guess that was part of—I don’t even really remember the transition. I just remember that it happened.

Don: Yeah, we were on our motorcycle coming back from Kodak on the back road, and a 17-year-old, uninsured boy came around the curve and hit us… would have been head on, but I laid it over and he ran over our left side. So, we had massive injuries. It took me four months to learn how to walk again and all of those things. So, we had massive injuries. There was no financial compensation except for uninsured motorist that I carried.

And so, during the course of that time, the year that we were laid up, I would like to say that our families came and lived with us seven days a week, 24 hours a day, for four months, and I just thank God for it. Her sister was a constant. She’s always been a constant.

Cheryl: Yes, she has.

Don: And she was there. And so, at the next year, we had to make some very difficult decisions. My oldest son had paid our house payment for seven months. My youngest boy had paid our car payment for seven months. We had the church I was at in Indiana sent us $4,000. We were just blessed beyond—

Cheryl: Blessed beyond measure.

Don: But still, I mean, when you’re talking about livelihood, I just had none whatsoever. So, we went into Social Security. We had to take Social Security at that time, and so I made the decision that we couldn’t keep our house. So, we lost it. We sold it. And so, we couldn’t pay the payments.

I took the $100,000, and we bought land and a trailer. I would like to say, Cheryl, when she first saw it, I said, “What do you think?”—it was a piece of junk—and she said, “Who’s this for? One of our kids?” I said, “It’s for us.” She cried. She so wanted to keep a house, but the Lord has blessed us. We remodeled it. It is completely paid for.

CortneyJo: Amen. And you have land.

Don: We got land.

Cheryl: Yeah, we have land.

Don: And God has just overly, overly blessed us. That accident was terrible. We lost our church, but again, remaining faithful to it. And I can honestly say I have never regretted the accident or the young man that hit us, you know, that it came to. When we were laying on the side of the road after the accident, I turned around, and he had drugged my motorcycle underneath of his truck for nearly two or 300 feet, and he never came over to help us, never took one step, never spoke to us during the entire time thereafter.

But I said all that to say one thing about Cheryl was when we went to the hospital, we were on the 10th floor at the UT hospital trauma unit. She was down the hall in another room, so they would wheel her into my room. She spoke so incoherently that the family would actually laugh. Not my kids, but others that were there began to laugh. And so, I told him, I said, “No. We’ll not have this.”

And so, I was sitting the first time—I love TV shows. I’m just a TV watcher. So, they would put her bed beside of mine, so we were kind of facing each other, but I would look up at the TV, and she said, “Well, I’m not going to stay in here if you’re not going to pay attention to me.” And so, I knew right away, you know, something’s going on here. So, I’ve tried to accumulate for that.

But God was good to us. And we were in there ten days. I was in there—Cheryl was in ten. I was in twelve. But since that time, I’ve had seven, eight surgeries. I just had another one last year with a new knee. But God is great, man. I feel wonderful. I don’t have an ache, I don’t have a pain, and God has been good to share all.

They couldn’t get her foot healed the first year. She had to have three different surgeries for the same crushed foot, but it finally took, and God healed her because of that. The hardest thing was that a year after the accident, we had to close the church that we had started. And God was gracious.

CortneyJo: You both, whoo, I love you both so much. You both beautifully embody the teachings of Ephesians, chapter 5, verses 21 through 33 especially verse 21 where it says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” I like to ask all of my guests their thoughts on encouraging women to be MUCH. So, as MUCH women: M being Measured, where we’re thinking about deliberative we’re praying about our decisions before we make them; we’re Unafraid. We’re being brave and moving without fear; C is Captivating, walking with our heads held high; and H is Heroic, where we can make tough decisions, even in the face of difficulty.

And I want to encourage women to be MUCH women, and to live by a higher standard. So Cheryl, I most definitely consider you every bit of MUCH, very MUCH. What does being a MUCH woman mean to you? And so, I want to ask you that question, and then, Don, I want to ask you, what does it mean to be married to a MUCH woman? So, we’ll start with you, Cheryl. What does it mean to be a MUCH woman?

Cheryl: Well, I think that the first thing, of course, is got to be a God-given where we live in obedience, which I don’t do all the time, but yet, you have to strive to do your best through Christ. And then to love your husband unconditionally. And he was always so good at saying sorry fast. We laugh at that because it would take me a little bit longer to get into that. And I even wanted to say I was sorry first, so I could beat him, but you know—

Don: [laugh].

Cheryl: It just didn’t always work that way. One time I told him, I said, “If you just”—because he was so quick to say I’m sorry, and he always had a quick word. He could always get me. And I’d say, “If you just would give me a couple of days, I could have a real good response.”

Don: Comeback, yeah.

Cheryl: I just didn’t have the ability to do it. But I think as you get older, and especially at our age now, we don’t think of it that way. And so, I just see that you have to let God into your marriage, and say you’re sorry, quick. Don’t go to sleep being angry. Be transparent.

And that was hard for me, like I said, when we first got married because I just thought everything he said was the way it was to be. But I also know that if you’re not transparent with each other, then you’re living a lie. And so, that’s me. I just feel like that, of course, being a Proverbs 31 woman would be great, but that’s sometimes not always the route that we do. Because I certainly would love to be a Proverbs 31 woman, and work harder and do better.

CortneyJo: Oh, you are, Cheryl. I’m so sorry. Cheryl, I’m sorry to tell you, but you kind of are—

Don: Yes.

CortneyJo: —every bit of that.

Cheryl: But I see that, that I can—ways that I can always improve myself. So, even if it’s not in schooling, it’s practically. And then also, we need to bless other women. If we see them struggling or coming up the ladder, and we’re saying, “Oh, you know,” well yeah, reach your hand out to them, love them, take them out for coffee, do something that you can help bless and encourage other women. So, that’s my thoughts.

CortneyJo: I love that. Thank you. And that’s exactly what you do. That’s what you do.

Cheryl: That’s too sweet.

CortneyJo: What is it like, Don, to be married to a MUCH woman, one that actually speaks her thoughts, and opinions, and stuff [laugh]?

Cheryl: Now, we do. Now, we do. Yes.

Don: Well, one thing is for sure, like she said, I’m quick. My mouth can get me in trouble at times. And so, as being a sanguine, I’m happy-go-lucky, but I can be angry too. That’s my major… side. But Cheryl would never argue with me. Something would set me off, and I’d say something hateful. She wouldn’t say anything. And I was just like, “Oh, wow.” So anyway, I would say something, then I’d say, “I’m sorry.” “You can’t be sorry that fast.” [laugh].

Cheryl: [laugh]. That’s what I told him. You can’t be sorry that fast. You have to think about it.

Don: And I said, well, how long should I wait here? But again, I think if I could encourage—because I’m married to a MUCH woman—but if I could encourage women, and that is to support your husband in the fact of don’t put him down. It’s so easy for wives—and husbands; I’m not just talking to wives—but it’s so easy for them to put their husbands down. And, you know, they get around another woman and before long, they’re eating their husband for lunch, you know, or whatever. You know, just lift him up. He’s the father of your children, you know? He’s the love of your life, and he’ll become what you want him to be, but you got to do that.

CortneyJo: Well, okay. Well, let me ask you this, Don. What would you say to the men? Because I agree, definitely women, you know, be encouraging. Don’t put your husbands down. I agree with that, but there are some husbands that put those wives down.

Don: Absolutely.

CortneyJo: And goodness. What would you say?

Don: And the same thing goes for husbands.

CortneyJo: Amen.

Don: And the problem is, is that just by location, they can get by with it. And because of that, they heal the spirit that’s within them and the love that’s in their life. And so, you know, the Bible talks about treating them as equal, that you can put your arm around them, and treat them as equal, and not lord over them or anything else. And, that’s what it needs to be as far as that goes. So.

CortneyJo: Amen. Submit to one another.

Don: Yeah.

Cheryl: Yeah.

CortneyJo: You got a reverence for Christ. I love this so much. Thank you both for just being who you are, and just faithful bondservants of Christ, you know, just being loving. And so, to our MUCH woman podcast family, thank you so much for being with us today. Remember you can find out all the details about this episode and more at muchwoman.com so great to be here, and see you all next time. Bye-bye.

CortneyJo: Stay updated with the latest episodes of the podcast at muchwoman.com, and tune in on Apple Podcast, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever fine podcasts are available. We look forward to seeing you next time.